Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Some Assembly Required


I bought an elliptical. I knew I wouldn't just be able pull it out of the box and use it. I knew I would need to put a few pieces together. I figured the arms would need to be put on and the foot petal things and maybe plug in the screen. The Box listed a six step process. (See the photo above) I thought "No Problem."

1. Open the box.
2. Pullout the arms.
3. Pull out the cardboard.
4. Pull out the main part.
5. Read the instructions.
6. Voila it's ready to use!

I got to step one "Open the box." I ruled that step.
Step two. "Pull out the arms" I thought to myself "Hmm There are arms and a lot of other pieces ok, more than I thought, but I can handle it." I pulled out all the pieces carefully and placed them on the floor in carefully organized piles.
Step three "pull out cardboard" I pulled out the cardboard and found 1. lots of cardboard and 2. many more pieces in and around the card board. I gathered them up and placed them in my organized piles. At this point I no longer have any room on the floor of the family room and I'm still just on step 3. I filled up the space under the stairs with all my extra cardboard And moved on to step four "pull out the main part" I needed help with this part because the box was huge and the main part was very heavy. I also didn't have any room left on the floor. In order to get this part out I had to pull out boxes with the screen part and the instructions and all the screws and other such things to aid the next part. Step five "Read the instructions" (note it took me a long time to get to this step and it was late so I had to put it off for the next day)

Day Two
Step 5
"Read the instructions" Who writes this stuff? What?
Step Five "A" The first step says "Call for a tech to put it together" I called and found out it will take 5 days for them to get back to me. I Decide I will do it myself.
Step Five "B" look up the assembly video. Wow that just went right together. Fantastic, Apparently this is EASY to do. It only took 8 minutes to put together on the video. I gave myself 15 minutes since it was my first time. An hour later It was late again and I wasn't very far on the instructions. I wasn't discouraged yet, I was learning a lot (trial and error) and I had like 7 pieces assembled (only 25,000 pieces to go)

Day Three Step 5 "J"
"tighten an M8x16mm patch screw (102) and an M8 washer(95)into each end of the upright axle (48) at the same time." (that is straight out of the instructions I am not making this up) There is a drawing and since I have several hours of experience with this, It doesn't even phase me. I found the right patch screw and reached for the M8 washer. There was no M8 washers. I had a lot of washers but none that will work. I carefully looked through all the parts again to make sure I didn't over look it. No Washer. Luckily they gave me a bag with a ton of extra parts. Guess what? no M8 washers. I raided my dad's stash of washers and found several that were close but not quite right. I decided to move on to the next few steps thinking that I could continue to work on it and go to the hardware store In the morning. The next 3 steps required M8 washers. I was done for the night. (and I had a headache)
Day Four Step 5 "P" "Home Depot" That is a huge store. Found the washers!! Step 5 "Q" through Step 5 "JJ" Other than getting grease on my hands and face from greasing all the moving parts I had very little drama.
Two hours later Viola Its ready to use. I am too tired to use it.
Thats a step for another day